38-year-old parents demand their least favourite child defend them and his spoiled siblings against the rest of the family: 'They have become such spoiled brats and my parents act surprised when people call it out'

Author image for Olivia Arocena
Olivia Arocena • Writer and Editor
Jun 19, 2026 4:00 PM EDT

From scapegoat to saviour.

Sometimes parents perceive one child as more competent, intelligent, or strong; as a result, the other children under the same roof are favoured and protected, while the other is expected to endure and handle everything as an adult would. In the story below, I think the brother who tells it was put in this position because he's the oldest and witnessed the family's hardest times.

As children, we see the adults around us (especially our parents) as almighty figures, and as we grow up, hopefully we begin to understand they were never so powerful or intelligent; they were just normal people confused and making mistakes just like us. After all, it's our first time alive (that we know of). I'm purposely trying to convey a weak moral stance for now, given we're only introducing the story, but I actually think the parents in this story have way darker motives lol.

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  • a young girl with her hands on her face
    via Ladislav Stercell

    A model representing one of the bratty children

  • My parents (38F, 38M) favored my siblings over me (18M) and turned them into brats and now they want us to work it out because the rest of the family has stopped talking to them?

    My parents (38F/38M) didn't have a lot of money when they first had me and we struggled for the first few years of my life. Everything I had as a baby and preschooler was hand me downs. Things started to get better for them
    via ThrowRAMissionLong
  • when I was like 5 and they had my younger brother when I was 6. He had such a different experience compared to me and so did my two younger sisters. My parents could do better by them and they spoiled them so
    via ThrowRAMissionLong
  • much they turned my siblings into brats while they never went that far for me. I got significantly less than my siblings and their families called it out. They also called out my siblings behavior but my parents never listened. My parents
    via ThrowRAMissionLong
  • and I would get into fights over the favoritism and over their families speaking up for me. They felt like I was complaining to other relatives and trying to start sh and they felt that wasn't fair.
    via ThrowRAMissionLong
  • It was so bad one year that my parents didn't get me anything for Christmas because they left it too late to shop for me and it turned into an all out war with my mom's parents. and them. Did I mention they only had my list
    via ThrowRAMissionLong
  • because my grandparents asked me to make one? Yeah, that's right. My grandparents were the reason I had a wish list to start with. Meanwhile my siblings were throwing the stuff they got at me and screaming into my face
    via ThrowRAMissionLong
  • because I wouldn't set up stuff for them and my parents said nothing to them. We also never celebrated my birthday when I turned 16 because my baby sister wanted to take advanced
    via ThrowRAMissionLong
  • a blurred picture of a christmas tree
    via Erik Gazi

    A photo depicting sad Christmas memories

  • I was a little reluctant at first to side with the scapegoated child, but when the story got to ‘everyone in the family stopped talking to them because of this’, I was finally convinced. Something about how things went down tells me that the parents don’t really consider the first child a child, but they see him more as a parentified helper-son.

    My intuition tells me that spoiling the youngest children serves as a way to atone for the guilt they feel towards how they treated the first child, back when they were poor. Of course, the guilt is misdirected to a place that doesn’t help to repair anything; in fact, it makes the wound even deeper, because the child who actually got misstreated is left out, like they can’t deal with the fact that they themselves could’ve treated him that badly.

  • ballet and my brother wanted to switch to do a football thing and my parents made those a priority over my birthday. So after my birthday last year I moved in with my grandparents and then
    via ThrowRAMissionLong
  • both sides of the family stopped speaking to my parents. They were no longer invited anywhere and nobody wanted my siblings around either. They have become such spoiled brats and my parents act surprised
    via ThrowRAMissionLong
  • when people call it out. But now I guess they feel the loneliness of having no family who talks to them because they reached out and said they want to work it out. They admitted nothing and only said we needed to not let this ruin
    via ThrowRAMissionLong
  • our family. I don't think I should but what about people on the outside. Got any advice?
    via ThrowRAMissionLong
  • can't really change my extended family's decision and I wouldn't try but at least for me and my parents do I try or do I not? -
    via ThrowRAMissionLong


  • Dynamics like this are very complicated, and this one seems especially rigid because the parents did not soften their behaviour even when other parts of the family started calling them out. The fact that they are now trying to make their oldest son their lawyer only makes it worse. I think he should try to remain on good terms with his parents, but keeping negotiations with the rest of the family out of his hands is a smart move. In situations like this, one has to be very clever not to explain one’s motives in detail, because I’m sure the parents are not really able to understand them; if they did, they would’ve just acted differently. Great opportunity to just play along and not get involved as much.

  • family playing with a dog on green grass field
    via CDC

    Image representing the son playing along with his family's delusions

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